Test or Game?

Is life a test or a game?If its a game is it a sport or board game? I have always thought of it as a test to see how well you play the game.

I was thinking today though, that I ought not (nor should others) refer to it as either. Games can be lost and tests can be failed. I have hung on to that metaphor for some time and started wondering if part of me has allowed myself to think I had already lost, or was down so far I could not come back because of the huge influence that question had on my younger years.

I remember very vividly being asked that question and a serious answer being expected. I was surprised with my witty response and delighted to fulfill my answer. I was 16... all I did was take tests and play sports. Then I left school, lost sports due to injury, and that mentor became a harsh example of why I will never do meth or any other drug. A lot changed... except for my little concept I had developed.

Life is not a game anymore, nor a test, or challenge. I am often tested and challenged, and I do play... but you can't define life as any one of those. What can you define life as? Can you define life? In all my thinking today, my best response is Life is life. We call it life for lack of better adjectives. And by trying to label it, I am inclined to think we put a limitation on it.

This train of thought lead me to wonder how often we label things that would be best left alone to define itself. I am not talking about stereotyping or the obvious things we find associations to. I think we are usually aware of our biases, at least on some level.

Do we subconsciously label life, relationships, occupations, spirituality and etc? If we do it subconsciously we would have no way of realizing the effect it has on our mentality in our active participation. It might not always be a bad label, but it would set up restrictions that should not be there. It could be very damaging to yourself and others.

Even calling your job work... that just seems to set a standard for a sour outlook on earning a living. You don't hear most folks say, "I get to go help my company tonight". It would sound awkward. Its work. That would be fine enough, yet as a society we have put labels any unpleasant task that has to be done "work". Occupation or not. Housework, yard work, paperwork and so on. Even if we genuinely enjoyed showing up to our job, it is work. I wonder what kind of psychological pull that word association puts on individuals.

I don't know if this idea has any merit behind it, and I may never understand fully even if it does. But it is something I will continue to ponder and may come back to later.

On a whole other note, today was a nice day. A quiet day. I took my walk... then walked more then I intended because I apparently don't know how to read a map as coherently as I thought and missed my bus lol. I spent much time today studying for events to come. I felt disappointed that I did not accomplish as much as I have seemed to in the other days this week. Although, in thinking about it, I probably accomplished more, it just did not fill a space on the calender or reveal any new goals or plans. The studying was as imperative as anything else and I am glad to say I took the initiative to do it. I felt a little insecure (emotionally) for parts of the day, I feel a little insecure in this moment. I can't pinpoint the direct cause of it. But by writing about it now, I think I have stumbled upon a small enlightenment. In the five stages of grief "Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance" I wonder where insecurity would fall. I have some thinking to do, but I may have found something to write about tomorrow. :)